247)

You don't always have to take things literally

Spaceballs the Movie

246)

If a casino offers free stuff, take it. Spend a night at their hotel. Keep ordering the drinks. Have the breakfast. Get into the dance club. Whatever they offer, take advantage of it because they are going to get you in the long run anyways.

245)

Pay attention to expiration dates

Suggested Music Interruption:

Billy Joel, "We Didn't Start The Fire"

244)

You are not allowed to give yourself a nickname. Let your friends or family give you one.

243)

Never forget guideline #32

Keep up with a tradition

242)

No matter what, never ever forget guideline #53

241)

Sit on the roof from time to time. It's a great view from up there. Be careful on the way up as well as the way down. Throw up some chairs if you need too.

240)

On a piece of paper, rewrite the telephone numbers on your phone. Do it now before it's too late. Batteries are dead before you know it, and you simply can't memorize all those numbers.

239)

Remember which months have 31 days and which have 30

238)

If a foul ball comes your way, make sure to catch it. You may never get another chance at one. Bring a glove if you need to.

237)

Know all the state capitals

236)

Whenever going out to an event, always double check to see if you have the tickets. Triple check if you need to. Don't forget them at home. That would be bad.

235)

Always have plenty of toilet paper on hand

234)

When buying eggs, open the carton first and check them out. Inspect for cracks. Twist them in their slots to see if they stick. If they are loose, then you are good to go.

233)

Visit the California Missions

17 of the 21 still remain

232)

Know the exit you want to take before it's too late. Don't cut off everyone on the highway. Have an idea when you are getting off and move over accordingly. If you cannot manage this safely, then wait until the next exit.

231)

Don't forget to set the alarm

Suggested Music Interruption:

Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Breaking the Girl"

230)

Attend pub trivia. Bring a few friends and have a few pints. Come up with a good team name. Who knows, you might win every once in a while.